


(like sunlight)

by orphan_account



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anorexia, Bad Poetry, Eating Disorders, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Poetry, Purging, Sad Ending, almost poetry, based on personal experience, being on a sports team is a pain in the ass sometimes, i wrote this with two people in mind and one was tyler joseph so here, implied - Freeform, it doesnt name anyone so you can self insert ig, might make a sequel, no happy ending, not recovery, restriction, so it may not be like everyone elses, tw calories, yeah great
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 22:28:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18748357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: he just wanted to be floating





	(like sunlight)

it wasn't supposed to be for forever(it was)  
it was just to be healthy(it wasn't)  
because he read about it, saw the pictures, and he 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤  
(he just wanted to be bones)

in the story he read, it took the boy a long time to get where he was.  
'six hundred,' said the boy(that sounds like a lot, he thought), 'but five hundred is better.'  
he knew he couldn't do five hundred(not yet).  
but he had to be better.  
he was going to beat the boy.  
he was going to 𝑤𝑖𝑛.

he ate seven hundred that day.  
he wanted to cry.  
(he didn't do any better the next day, either)  
but then he got it! it took him three days(three too long), but there he was- six hundred calories.  
he felt happy.

he stepped on the scale. 120.  
he was going to cry.

he was 115 the next time he checked.  
(120-115-120-115-120-115-120ITNEVERSTOPS THE CYCLE NEVER ENDS)  
it was not enough.  
(it would never be enough)

he cried and cried and worked(failed) for months but he never lost weight and

he gave up.  
he got better(FAILURE), forgot the calculator in his head(WEAK, DON'T DRINK THAT- 80 calories, DON'T EAT THAT-110)  
(stop eating stop eating STOP EATING)

he gained ten pounds  
and then he relapsed(relapse is such an ugly word for 'won')

he looked in the mirror and cried.  
the bulge of his belly, it was so large and round and 𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑓𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 and he couuldn't-  
he did what he knew how to.  
he s t a r v e d.

but he couldn't. loose. weight. (PATHETIC)  
you're getting muscular, someone said with a smile  
he wanted to cry(of course he did).  
'one hundred pounds,' he thought, 'one hundred is enough.'  
(he lied.)  
('forty-three,' he mused, 'forty-three is the perfect number')

and so he bent over the toilet and heaved.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry.  
> (don't worry, i don't actually cry that much)


End file.
